Local calvinist pastor arrives at accident scene to clarify what really happened (satire)
Fresno, CA – The sound of crushing metal, shattering glass, agonizing screams, and the howl of first-responder sirens shook a small neighborhood in North Fresno on Thursday morning. “It was really tragic,” said Maria Vasquez, a local resident who saw what happened. “The guy in the red car was texting and driving and plowed right into the…